I was in a relationship with a Thai woman for two years, and she fooled me completely. Every word, every gesture, every promise was all lies. Her goal from day one was simple: get as much money out of me as she could. And she did a damn good job of it. I still feel stupid when I think about it. I’ve always considered myself cautious and street smart, but she played me perfectly. And this wasn’t some quick scam and it dragged on for far too long, and I lost far too much money before the truth came out.
Before I get into the whole story, I want to say that telling this story opens me to attacks but It’s like getting a weight off my chest. Hearing other men talk about their mistakes with Thai women makes you feel less alone. That’s why I’m sending my story, my rant, and hopefully a warning for someone out there. I’ve been listening to Thailand stories for a while, and I’ve seen guys falling for the same lines over and over. I was one of them. And the more I think about it, the angrier I get. So this felt like the right moment to finally put everything down.
Her name was Noi. I met her while i was on holiday in Bangkok. She had this charm about her and not the typical bar‑girl thing. Something that drew you right in and made everything feel real. And I fell for it completely. I thought we had something meaningful, but I was just the next foreigner on her list. After digging deeper later on, I discovered she’d been running this same scam on guys for years.
When I first came to Thailand, I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend at all. I was just traveling, enjoying life, drinking my beer without a worry. I met an American guy my age, and for months we partied non-stop. Nana Plaza, Soi Cowboy, Pattaya, you name it. But eventually even that got boring. Same bars, same routines, same lines from the girls. Seeing other foreigners walking around with a “holiday girlfriend” made me think it might be nice to meet someone decent, someone normal. My friend suggested online dating. That’s where everything started going downhill.
Online dating in Thailand is basically a virtual beer bar and full of freelancers, scammers, and traps that are easy to fall into. I found Noi’s profile like thousands of other guys looking for a nice Thai woman to spend time with. She looked incredible, long black hair, perfect figure, flawless photos. I didn’t even hesitate. I messaged her immediately. We chatted for a while, flirty and fun, and then met at a live music bar at Sukhumvit Soi 11.
In person she was even more stunning. And she made me feel like I was exactly the guy she’d been waiting for. I was hooked. We went back to that bar several times with great music, good atmosphere, no bar-girl vibes. Everything felt real.
And just to be clear, I wasn’t some lonely old man desperate for attention. I’m 39, in good shape, have my own place, a solid job and I take care of myself. She chased me as much as I chased her. She texted first most days. She made it seem like she genuinely wanted to be with me. Before I left Thailand, she was the one who said she wanted us to be in a relationship. And I agreed because I honestly believed I’d found the right woman.
For over two years we were together. I flew out to see her three or four times, sometimes for months at a time. When I was back home, I worked hard and sent her money to “support” her expenses like school fees, rent, daily expenses. The plan was for her to finish nursing school, then come to my home country to live with me. I paid for everything because I thought I was investing in our future. I know how stupid that sounds now.
Everything seemed perfect until random men started messaging me, telling me their own stories about her. At first I thought they were jealous exes. But then we compared screenshots, photos, and messages. Same lies. Same promises. Same future plans. Same excuses. We were all living the exact same script with the exact same woman. I eventually learned she’d been tricking multiple men at the same time for years. She was an expert with every “I miss you,” every tear, every little story about her sick mother or school fees and all perfectly timed to make you feel like you were doing the right thing by helping her.
Over two and a half years, I sent her around 80,000 Euros. Seeing the total in my bank statements made me physically sick. I worked hard for that money. She treated it like a salary. And here’s the worst part: I stayed with her in Bangkok for months at a time. She acted completely loving. She met me at the airport with big hugs every time. For those weeks, she treated me like I was the only man in the world. I ignored the small red flags like her phone face down, vague excuses, occasional weird behavior. I convinced myself I was just being paranoid.
We only broke up because another guy saw a message from me pop up on her phone. His world collapsed just like mine had. He tracked me down, and after talking, we realized she’d been with both of us at the same time and there were several more men in the same boat.
Let that sink in: she wasn’t even picky. Old, young, fit, overweight it all didn’t matter as long as the guy had money and a kind heart. She treated us all like walking ATMs. The part that still stings is how she brought me to meet her family. Her mum cooked, her dad drank with me, everyone smiled like they cared. But it was all part of the act. Later, I found out almost every girl brings foreign boyfriends home and it means nothing anymore. They were all on the scam. Fake smiles and stories. It was all fake.
And yes, she’d still be on dating sites today, using the same photos, the same lines, reeling in new victims every day. I still get nervous opening dating apps because I’m terrified her face will pop up again. The truth is, she could have been an amazing partner if she wasn’t a scammer. She had the looks, the charm, the personality and all the qualities men want. But it was all just a mask. When we split, I told her beauty fades. And when it does, she’ll be left with nothing but regret. Money won’t keep her warm when she’s alone.
Now I keep everyone at arm’s length. I don’t trust easily anymore. This whole experience has hardened me in ways I never expected. But despite all of it, I haven’t fully given up hope that there’s still one genuine woman out there who actually wants a real future, not just a paycheck. I’m sharing this so guys don’t repeat my mistakes. Thailand is an amazing country with the beaches, the nightlife, the people. But you need to be careful. Not every smile is innocent. Not every sad story is real. Protect your heart and your wallet. Enjoy the country, but take your time before trusting someone completely.
If my story saves even one guy from going through what I did, then it was worth writing all of this. Because somewhere out there right now is a man staring at his phone, thinking he’s found “the one,” while she’s texting three other wallets at the same time. I regret ever meeting Noi, ever downloading that dating app, and ever sending a single dollar. But I’ve learned my lesson. You live, you learn, and hopefully someone else learns from me too. If you will use the dating apps like Thai Friendly or Tinder be careful and don’t trust anyone fully. If you just want fun it is a great way to meet women but if you want a long term partner be careful.
